After many days of holiday celebrations with family members, I spent a quiet New Years at home, with my journals, and my books, and Netflix. The words “one word, begin now, write now” encapsulate where I am at this exact moment in time. I have been reaching back into the past and looking forward to the future, in an effort to collapse time and bring everything together into one cohesive whole in the present. It is not easy to do, and I ask myself, where have I been (and how can I reframe the difficult passages in a more positive light), and where am I going ( I don’t really know, but I am restless and feel incredible transformational shifts happening inside).
It is almost as if the sky has ripped open before me and this amazing and blinding light has surrounded me and shown me all of the grace and beauty of the person who lives inside of me, that person who hides from the world and the insensitivity of others. I am very humble and unassuming, so it is a bit daunting to see myself in this magnificent way. In my Life Book art community, Tam echoes the sentiments that nurture us: you are worthy, you are enough, you are are loved, you are strong, you are whole, you are healing, you are a beautiful being.
My one word for 2019 is hope. I have been choosing a word to guide me through the coming year since 2010, so this is my tenth year. Previous blog posts about my one word choices can be seen here. It was very easy to choose a word this year, as I am hopeful about a lot of things happening in my life… a new (my first) grandchild, more time with family, new doctors, slow improvements in my health, renewed creativity, more writing, deepening of new friendships, renewal of old friendships, strengthening of my boundaries, and letting go of everything that no longer serves me.
I love card decks. I have a half dozen purchased oracle decks and I have created 5 mixed media altered playing card decks of my own. This morning I pulled this card from the Denise Linn Sacred Traveler Oracle Card deck. The artwork in the deck is exquisite. The Begin Now card is so relevant for me and refers to the Lao Tzu quote “ A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” How appropriate for me as I have been doing a lot of thinking and planning but have been unable to take that first step.
I have been journaling in my Unravel Your Year 2019 workbook, an annual free offering from the amazing Susannah Conway, her website is here. I am also taking her Blogging from the Heart e-course right now and reading her book, This I Know, Notes on Unraveling the Heart. I was unable to face doing this end of year journal last year with what was going on in my life, but I am embracing it this year. There are a lot of things in this 60 page journal that I can’t share, hence the blurred text. By the way, this is what a page of text looks like for me without my reading glasses.
I would like to be brave and share one workbook writing prompt entry. How has your life changed? What have you learned about yourself?
My life has been quieter and more laid back. I have been more introspective and choosy about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I have been practicing mindfulness. I have been knitting a lot and really enjoying it. I am learning to trust B. and feel more comfortable with him. I have learned that I am strong, courageous, gentle, caring. I am becoming a good writer. I am open to new possibilities. I am happy and content.