The Pause Between Breaths

Collage rooted

I decided to pause between breaths and create some collage pages in one of my art journals last week. Sorting through some magazine pages I found these images that expressed exactly what I was feeling, so I cut them out and glued them down with a glue stick, pressing them down firmly with a brayer.  I  have some Art Bin flat storage boxes filled with a collection of assorted papers and ephemera, and magazines are stacked on top of the Art Bin boxes. I always pause to check the sharing bins at the library entrance for magazines with interesting photos to add to my collection of collage materials.  Today I found five gardening magazines filled with beautiful flower and garden photos so I brought them home with me.

Mercy by the Sea

At the beginning of August, I went to Mercy by the Sea to reconnect with myself and to sit quietly in reverence and contemplation. July had been a very busy month. I tried to do too much and I found myself feeling like I was being pulled in too many different directions. I felt very scattered. I had either already joined or contemplated joining eleven different groups in my local area. I had a renewed appetite for group activity after a long absence due to my previous work life, and thought I could do everything. But I was not enjoying myself and needed to hear the still, small voice inside of me and explore things on my own. So I took a hiatus from most of the group activity and I am a lot happier now. My day is now inner directed rather than outer directed and my life seems to flow with ease. Last month (see July blog post) I was meandering and now I am finding my way.

Hammonasset Beach

Last Sunday morning I went to Hammonasset Beach with my wonderful son, his lovely wife, and my baby grandson. There is something very calming about sitting on a blanket stretched out on the sand, feeling the sand beneath your toes, gazing out across the water to see the clouds and the distant sailboats, and listening to the waves as they touch the shore. For me the sea is a magical place and time stands still here. I always come away from a visit to the ocean with a feeling of inner peace and calm.

Chandelier quilt

I have decided to focus on quilting and this is bringing me to center. I still do other creative things, but quilting has become my primary activity. Of course, this was not part of my original plan two months ago, but quilting is calling me and I need to follow that inner voice. I love the way geometric patterns come together. I love fabric, the colors, the textures, the patterns, the shapes, and I love playing with graph paper to develop my own designs and then bring them into Adobe Illustrator or Inkscape on the PC. The quilt above is the Chandelier Quilt found in the book Charm School by Vanessa Goertzen. I saw this quilt on Flickr and fell in love with it so I had to make one of my own.

Tula Pink Quilt Blocks

I have not made a sampler quilt in many years, but I got the book Tula Pink’s City Sampler – 100 Modern Quilt Blocks for my birthday and these little 6 inch blocks are so much fun to make! I am using fabric from my stash (collection) and it is exciting to revisit fabrics that I had forgotten about (fabric has memory) and use them in new combinations. In this quilt I am going with a rainbow of colors and anything goes as far as what colors pair up with others. So far I have completed 30 blocks and I hope to make all 100 blocks and most likely will set them with white sashing and border. It will be exciting to have a fresh modern quilt for my bed!

Beach Labyrinth in the Fog

Labyrinth fog 1

Yesterday I went to Hammonasset Beach to recenter myself. It is a place that I always return to when I am finding myself too far from my core self and needing realignment. I parked at the Nature Center and walked to the hidden beach carpeted with shells and sharing space with the ever present beach labyrinth. To my surprise the labyrinth had grown and was much bigger than last time I was there.

Labyrinth fog 3

I gathered stones at the edge of the tide rolling in. I had noticed that some artists in my online spaces had painted rocks with interesting designs and I wanted to try that. After I gathered a basket full of stones I sat on a driftwood log, listening to the gentle sound of the waves and watching the scenery enveloped in the misty fog. Everything had an ethereal quality and there was remembrance of times past spent on the beach in fog. Except there was no sound of a foghorn, the lighthouse being too far from where I was.

Labyrinth fog 2

When the area became empty except for me, I slowly walked the inward spiral path of the labyrinth, thinking about where I was at this moment in time and where I was going. I finally felt at peace with myself after months of turmoil that I mostly kept hidden from view. I am a very private person and find it difficult to share my inner world with anyone.

Labyrinth fog 4

Yesterday was the tipping point or turning point for me. While holding space with the beach labyrinth, I realized that I am going to be OK, that I can trust in myself and my own judgement, and that I need to do what is right for me. I can’t be all things to all people – I can only be myself. I need to listen to that still, small voice inside that is telling me I need quiet and solitude, I need air to breathe, and I need space around me so that I can feel my edges and see who I am.

Labyrinth fog 5