We had a wonderful Thanksgiving day, with several small celebrations going on in different places. I went to Joe and Aurora’s the next town over and they prepared a magnificent feast. It was so nice to see my grandmother’s fine china set out on the dining room table. My son had repaired the leave for the table and he brought up 2 extra chairs from the basement so that there would be room for everyone. Afterwards we watched Christmas movies on Amazon prime… the original Miracle on 34th Street, and Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation.
Back at home the next day, I did some journaling and some planning. Then I worked on crocheting my new hat. Crocheting has been getting me through some difficult health problems – it is easy to do and very meditational. I found the pattern on ravelry.com. It is the Lovely Lady Slouch Hat by Corina Gray and it uses Lion Brand Homespun yarn, a variegated bulky yarn with an interesting texture and rich colors. I got all the way to where you add the band and it just didn’t look right – it looked like a pizza, not a hat! So I set it aside.
I went out after dinner to the premier meeting of the East Hampton Writers Guild and found a really interesting group of people, each with a different approach to writing. Everyone gave an intro relative to their writing experience so that we could get to know each other, and everyone shared a piece of writing with the group. I had never read my work out loud to a group before and it was a good experience. There was a lot of sharing and the conversations lingered after the meeting ended.
Today I decided to totally unravel the pizza shaped hat and start over. Rather than feeling upset that I had made mistakes in the hat, I felt empowered by unraveling the yarn and winding it all around the skein of yarn. It made me feel that I can take back control of my life. Just going out at night when I have been going to bed real early from fatigue was a step in taking back my life. I haven’t gone out at night since July. Starting over and using a different crochet hook size and a different method to make the double crochets worked! I was so happy I was able to figure it out. My thinking has been a little fuzzy at times since July.
There will be healing and I just need to have faith and believe. My life was unraveling but I am starting to do more things even though everything is still an effort. I went on a quilt retreat a few weeks ago. I was the first one in bed instead of one of the last ones as I was before, but that’s OK. I still had fun. I managed to make a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. And I had a weekend soup marathon last weekend and made both chicken soup and pasta fagioli. These seem like small things but they are not. I have been conserving all of my energy for work and now more energy is slowly coming back for the creative things I like to do. I am looking forward to the new year!